really truly inspired

I'm one of those people who becomes idle when my schedule isn't full. I say this because right now I am the busiest I've been in years. And yet I'm doing things that most definitely aren't essential but are acting as a creative outlet. I think the latest issue of Real Living magazine had a lot to do with it. I love that magazine. It's full of gorgeous, quirky, affordable ideas and I am particularly partial to the fact that they always feature renters. Yes, I'm one of them (a renter, not featured).

We have lived in this house for over three years and to tell you the truth I'm getting a little over it. However, we'll be here till April and I wanted to make a few changes that would make me smile when I walked into the room. One of them being the fireplace. It used to be filled with pebbles and sure that was ok but it was nowhere near as fun as a stack of books, some cute toys and a heart garland (from little jane st). I also re-did the kitchen mood board and created a little vignette on the mantle. Phew!

We're heading to the mountains this weekend, to stay in a cosy cottage and attend a winter yoga retreat (me, anyway). We'll also be perusing bookshops, sipping coffee and sleeping in (the latter is what I'm most excited about). Apparently snow is forecast. If white flakes fall it will make for a memorable time. Fingers crossed.

found & delivered

There's a new op shop in our street and it belongs to the (new) local church (there are four churches on our road so we always joke that we live in Holy Land). I like church op shops. Friendly and affordable. I say affordable because some of the price tags I have seen in Salvos and Vinnies are pushing the "op-shop" label a little too far.

A few days ago me and my boys trundled down there and decided the theme of our visit would be check/tartan. Hence we came home with this hand knitted blanket (which is backed in fabric and has 30 children's names written on it, my favourite being Isabelle Tropiana - her parents were cool). Daniel scored an adorable woolen check jacket and I got a gorgeous check cotton long sleeve top which will look uber cute with denim shorts in Spring. Che got a pair of eeni meeni mini moh pants for $3...bargain. He also got a Golden Book and had to explain to the sweet, slightly nutty old lady outside that the bike was his and no, we weren't donating it to the shop.

Today I'm working from home and this is my coffee break. Daniel just came home with a new haircut and I declared him the cutest coffee delivery boy ever. It's Friday. So happy weekend to you.

fear and love

I've decided to stop teaching my Sunday morning hatha class because, well, sometimes "I" need to be priority. I may be old fashioned in thinking that Sunday is rest day, but so be it. Sundays are now reserved for us and all the things we want to do. Like pancakes with lots of lemon and sugar. Late morning reading sessions in front of the heater. Or exploring the parts of this area that we hardly ever venture to. Like Bouddi National Park, a pretty spectacular part of this region.

We walked through bush to get to Little Beach on Sunday and spent a couple of hours soaking up sun (hence I gained a splattering of freckles across my cheeks). Within 10minutes Che's pants were soaking wet and he frolicked happily between rocks and wave foam. I spent a good hour plucking him from the water - the swell was strong and he has absolutely no fear.

Fear is an interesting part of being a parent. I have no problem with admitting that I can be pretty fearful sometimes. I would love to be that girl that throws caution to the wind but I've come to accept that I'm not. I like rhythm, I like to know what's coming next, I like to know that my child is not going to crack his head open on a rock. Perhaps it's a Mum thing. I know Daniel is confident to just let Che be, no matter where we are. He stands back and watches without flinching. I sure don't want to let fear rule my life. I'm aware of it and aiming to embrace the love instead.

These Morcheeba lyrics always travel around in my mind:

"Fear can stop you loving
Love can stop your fear
Fear can stop you loving
But it's not always that clear" from "Fear and Love"

a good mum

When there is grass growing through the peg basket it's a sure sign of neglect. I'm ok with that. What I find most difficult about being a mum is guilt. There is such a thing as motherguilt, you know. Because my life has become that much busier in the past few months there are some things that just don't make it onto my 'to do' list. And sure I like the idea of a spotless home, an empty laundry basket, fresh loaves of bread pulled straight from the oven and a happy family...but that picture isn't an honest one of my life right now. The happy family is it. And I suppose that's all that really matters.

I've just been asked to work one more day from home. As a writer, and because writing is my art, I'm taking this as a promotion. My first professional promotion. It feels damn good to be paid so well for my art. But with that extra day comes less time for everything else in my life and I'm well aware that things will have to give. I can't do everything.

Oh hello guilt, I was expecting you.

Why? Because that's one less day to be a good mum. And what is a good mum? It seems programmed in us, us mothers, that we must be everything to everyone around us in order to be a good mum. I'm going to say this because I feel it is my truth - most of the time the blogs I read inspire, motivate and encourage me. But sometimes, they make me feel guilty. They don't help with my own unrealistic, perhaps idealistic, expectations of what a good mum is. Why? Because I can't find the time (and sometimes the inclination) to bake crackers, knit a piece of clothing a week, organise daily in-house art classes, grow vegies, have a homemade dinner prepped every night and never complain.

And so my mantra is to never bring guilt into my role as mum. I don't want to be the muma who doesn't think she's doing good by her son because of a lack of baking, cleaning, crafting, gardening. I am not that mum. I am me - Che's mum.

And I know, deep down, that he wouldn't swap me for the world. That's his truth and I'll keep reminding myself of it.

pears wrapped in paper (& other wonderful things)

...and brown paper packages tied up with string. Just a few of my favourite things.

I opened the door last night to my fortnightly delivery of organic fruit & vegies and the in-season and ever-so-sweet pears came wrapped in paper to stop them bruising. They look so beautiful and I've left all three sitting in their wrapping on the windowsill.

The postman came this morning with my special order from oakmoss. Lovely Amber (isn't her blog just gorgeous) creates the most beautiful candles and soaps - with natural products like beeswax and soy. The scents she creates from essential oils are the best smelling concoctions I have ever come across. The 'spring' blend is my favourite - fresh, earthy and subtle. I don't think I'll ever have to search out another scented candle...she's got my business for life.

Also, I am the proud recipient of a fabulous and incredibly successful op-shopping venture today. I found something I have been looking for...sitting there in the corner. Hiding, almost. But I saw it and I bought in ($10) and although it needs some tlc and a coat of paint it will be in our home, on display, very soon. I can't wait to show you.

Other news:

Our local fire station has this message on the roadside board: "Stay Warm - cuddle a fireman"

I begged Melissa to please pretty please post a pattern for her fabulous stripy scarf "Hello, Sailor" and she did! I'm going to start my very own this weekend - you should too.

Have a lovely rest of your day - go search for your very own fireman.

fancy dress parties are the bestest

Today we partied little kid style and Che took on the persona of a pirate. I searched out dress-ups and found Wovenplay, a NY based clothing company who create to-die-for dress-ups - the kind that I would request in adults sizes. I thought about purchasing the $250 pirate costume for about 3 seconds and then resorted to the wardrobe. The wardrobe that already contained everything he ended up wearing (I only had to buy the skull scarf which was $10 a Big W). The best costumes should be the ones that cost next to nothing. The ones that get worn as every day wear.

It was pretty special to watch him today in all his cuteness - eating fairy bread and jumping on the blow-up castle. He was so patient as he lined up to get his face painted and watching him sit there so still and quiet I got a little gushy. He giggled as the paintbrush touched his skin because it tickled and when he saw his face in the mirror he was a little overwhelmed. Before long he had a balloon sword and piece of birthday cake and the tears of a tired pirate who missed his afternoon nap.

My little pirate...may there be many more opportunities to dress-up and be silly. We had fun today, the 3 of us. So much fun.