the bliss of routine

I like routine. And I don't know where my head would be if I didn't follow a rhythm every day. It has really been a savior for me as a mum. I remember back when Ché was a few months old - my head was quite seriously in the clouds, the house was always a mess and I felt completely disorganised. That may have something to do with the newborn in my life but I think it was more a result of trying to do too many things at once - and not succeeding at any of them. Daniel would often just watch me and within an hour I would have spent a few moments in every room of the house - reorganising, reshuffling, moving mess about - never actually getting anywhere. It's in my personality to float about, I get that, but when I finally began to organise in a practical way everything became so much easier to deal with. I became addicted to reading the Ikea catalogue and was convinced (still am) that storage solutions are a new mum's saving grace.

Steiner philosophy really encourages following a rhythm in the day. Doing a similar thing every morning of the week, every noon, every evening. Ritual is highly regarded too - creating ritual in your life to honour and celebrate momentous occasions. When I really thought about it it seemed like a really simple answer to my problems. To slow down, be in the moment, and have a little plan to my day. Soon after creating the said plan, I felt so much more confident in my mothering and Ché responded beautifully. Family life became blissful and my home was the cleanest it's ever been. Now Ché 'helps' with the cleaning and whenever a new mum asks me for advice I tell them to do a load of washing every day.

I was comforted to read Stephanie Dowrick's wise words in the SMH a few weekends ago. In her article titled: "The bliss of a routine life" she eloquently writes:

"...the first is to establish simple, predictable routines. By this I don't mean that tiny babies should be pushed into a rigid schedule of feeding and sleep. In fact, I think that's wrong and often damaging. But by the time the child emerges from the cocoon of infancy into toddlerhood and beyond, it is incredibly helpful to parents , and soothing and stabilising for the child, to have predictable rhythms to most day's events."

The cut-out article has been on my fridge for weeks and not a day has gone by where I haven't stopped for a few moments to remind myself of what is important in our day. As adults, Stephanie says, we tend to spend our time racing from one activity to the next, multi-tasking in order to respond to what's most urgent instead of what's most important. The children often follow in our wake.

She also talks about placing clear boundaries - something I needed to read as a mother to a toddler. Perhaps in my desire to be a fair and loving mum I have been giving Ché too many options. Wonderful Ms Dowrick continues:

"Usually offered with the best intentions, choice almost always creates tension rather than independence. Cheerfully and confident stating that it's time to get dressed, eat breakfast, have a walk, bath dinner or a story, or go to bed is realistic. It is also reassuring."

Creating a reassuring and safe life for our babes is so important. I really believe that. It became clear to Daniel and I the other day at the park. Ché was cornered in a little cubby house by 3 five-year-olds. They were yelling at him: "Chase us, chase us." We could tell that he was a little daunting by them and we knew he didn't understand what they were saying. And then he leaned his head against the wall, closed his eyes and smiled. When he opened his eyes the boys had run away.

Later that night, at dinner, Daniel asked him about what happened. What were you thinking about when you closed your eyes Ché? He responded: "Ché sleep at home, Safe in this home."

For Daniel and I, hearing that, we felt like the most proud parents in the world. That he feels safe in our family home and that he can close his eyes and be here when he feels so small in the big world.

I really want to share Stephanie's article with you but I can't find it anywhere online. If you want a copy to stick on your fridge, I would be happy to photocopy mine and send it to you. A little favour from my family to yours. Just email me your address with the promise that you will pass it on to other Mums.

we celebrated

I said I wasn't going to do a 'party' every year but by the time August came round I had organised an afternoon tea to celebrate Ché and his love of stars. Quite frankly, I couldn't see the sense in not inviting family and friends around to sip chai and eat cake and hip hip hooray the little boy that always makes us smile. Once i stopped greeting and serving it was nice to look around and see the little people playing, the big people chatting. Ché was gifted the most beautiful toys - bought with love and received with much gratitude. I'm trying my best to organise them at the moment, keen to find a 'home' for each and every toy so that we all know where they need to go at the end of the day...but more on that later.



Two is so big and I never thought this far ahead when he was born. You forget that the newborn is just the beginning and there is so much growing to be done. So much to look forward to. Such a little character he is, waking up with rockstar hair (some mornings it's about 7inches from his head) and beckoning us to follow him to the lounge where we sit in the sun and play safari. Or fire-trucks. Or we drink tea from wooden cups - stir, stir, stir.


He's settled so well into the rhythm of Steiner playgroup and we, as a family, are benefiting so much from it. Two hours on a Friday morning really sets a beautiful pace for the rest of our week. And it is so nice to be surrounded by like-minded mamas, it really makes me feel supported and nurtured on this parenting journey. Somehow, though, my little one always ends up the messiest. If dirty clothes are a measure of happiness then Ché really is having the time of his life. I'm still trying to soak the dirt out of that white (not so white) tee above.



Each day is busy, spring-busy you could say. We're eating fresh greens from our little garden and the tomato plants are growing skyward. Grandad is visiting on Sunday to help us plant a vegie patch in an old bathtub. Ché always eats a banana at story time before bed. A happy food that fills his belly and helps him slip into slumber. He's sleeping in his own bed which means I've read more books in the last few weeks than I have in the last few years. I really love going to bed with a chamomile tea (sometimes honey) and reading. Pure bliss. So far, two is good. Really good.

"white space" - the pondering place

white space, bedroom space

There's a post over at Camp Creek Blog about the 'white space' on a page. The blank bits, the nothingness between words, paragraphs, thoughts. It really made me think about the way a writer uses white space as a form of punctuation. To highlight an idea.

To emphasize.

To make the reader stop

and think
about what is being said.

And then the post goes on to ask, where's the white space in your day? In your child's day? Do you run from sentence to sentence, sometimes overlapping, and find yourself, at the very end of the day, in a ball on the couch, exhausted. Too tired to think?

"When we cram too many experiences into a child’s day/week/life, we don’t leave time for them to think about what they’ve experienced — they just move on to the next thing, letting the previous thing drop away."

Such a good lesson for myself in my life. And the way I find and move with the steady rhythm of our family. Because the resting is just as important as the doing - the restropective thought just as important as engaging in the present task.

It's about the quality, not the quantity. Slow food, slow fashion. Living - It's the new 'slow'.

lantern light for winter solstice

i'm walking with my lantern
my lantern's walking with me...
la bimba la bamba la boom

boom boom

day-to-day

He helps unpack the shopping, taking bites from the fresh fruit & veg as he goes. This makes me happy. Very happy.


Cherries. Ripe, red cherries. Christmas indulgence. $6 for 1kg of yummy yummy cherries.


Hand washing. It always seems like such an arduous task. I procrastinate for weeks sometimes. But I love the satisfaction of delicate garments all fresh and clean and lying on the bed, ready to be put away.


I'm starting to recognise photos in my day. Odd for a writer to find that connection with a camera. Nice though. Nice.

colour play

Colour and light and all things bright. We are finally crawling out from under the clouds - feeling better and ready to play. And today I watched my little one 'play' for the first time. He took his Che Che (choo choo) train and pushed it around the floor as he crawled. Around the basket and the table. Around and about. It was beautiful to watch. I could tell that he was actually thinking about what he was doing, he planned a little route and off he went. Che and his train.

My house smells of lavender, ylang ylang and patchouli - the 'hippie chic blend' made by a local scent and soap maker. Since we found our rhythm I have enjoyed playing house so much more. It's cleaner and more organised than it has been in months and I feel more inspired in my own space. Inspired to write, make, create and yes, play. It's a good feeling.

Che and I have found our little groove and we're so happy. I'm a better Muma because of it. I'm calmer and more engaged and I can easily say that I am more certain and more passionate about my role as parent - about the choices Daniel and I are making. After teaching a pre-natal yoga class last week a few of my students were talking about leaving work and the significant changes that would make to their family income. I suprised myself with what I said to them because it was the first time I had actually considered it myself. "Your life become simpler when you become a parent. You spend more time at home, you spend more time together. Your life-style doesn't cost as much."

Because...you clean, you feed, you bake, you wash, you play, you read, you cuddle - together.


After a phone call with a dear friend today I realised how important it is to be surrounded by like-minded parents. It's so good to know that Che's friends are being raised by parents as passionate as Daniel and I. We share the same values and beliefs, we're choosing an 'alternative' form of education and we're trusting in our natural instincts. I feel supported and understood in my parenting journey...it's so nice.

Enjoy the bright light of an approaching Summer ... or the cosy dim haze of a Winter just around the corner. Wherever you are I hope you find your seasonal rhythm.

rhythmic

I've been away. Not from home, but from this blog. A little break, a little breather. It was time to find some rhythm and now we're sailing rather smoothly.

I actually started by changing a few things about my evening. Before Che goes to bed we clean up his toys together. And before I go to bed I make sure the kitchen is spotless. As far as I'm concerned there's nothing worse than waking up to dirty dishes - a clean kitchen is a fresh start. Perhaps I really am heading towards domestic bliss?

On the food front there was one habit I had to kill. I'll admit that I'm slightly addicted to chocolate and if there's a block sitting next to my cup of tea, I'll get through it pretty easily. Although the taste was enjoyable (the guilt not so nice) I was waking up with a sugar hangover. True. Sleepy, lethargic, cranky - not the kind of Muma that I need to be. And so I've taken on the French approach - one square of quality chocolate a day (sometimes two) with my tea and I'm waking up much happier. Good start to the day.

And Che and I? We pitter and we patter and I'm pretty happy with how our week has been. We visited the Steiner playgroup down the road and me oh my it is a delight. Unfortunately we can't go till Che is two. I was slightly disappointed but I see it as a opportunity to find our own way together - and without wishing the days away we have something very special to look forward to next Spring.

We've been row-row-row your boating, sandcastle making, reading and gardening.


Not long ago it became pretty evident that Che has rhythm - he shakes his bum in time to the music, he beats his body to song. He's fascinated by sounds - give him some windchimes and he's happy for hours. And so everyday we make music with his mellow sounding drum, our Tibetan singing bowl, a tambourine, maracas and our voices. I have no music talent whatsoever but I do enjoy watching him have fun. Sometimes we do a little Kirtan (devotional chanting to music), sometimes we just make a whole lot of noise. I just have to convince him that high-pitched squeals are not music to anyone's ears. Oh my goodness, how my child can squeal!

...and the winner is...Christie from Pigeon Pair. A gorgeous 70s clothkit is coming your way!