Monday, July 19, 2010

fear and love



I've decided to stop teaching my Sunday morning hatha class because, well, sometimes "I" need to be priority. I may be old fashioned in thinking that Sunday is rest day, but so be it. Sundays are now reserved for us and all the things we want to do. Like pancakes with lots of lemon and sugar. Late morning reading sessions in front of the heater. Or exploring the parts of this area that we hardly ever venture to. Like Bouddi National Park, a pretty spectacular part of this region.

We walked through bush to get to Little Beach on Sunday and spent a couple of hours soaking up sun (hence I gained a splattering of freckles across my cheeks). Within 10minutes Che's pants were soaking wet and he frolicked happily between rocks and wave foam. I spent a good hour plucking him from the water - the swell was strong and he has absolutely no fear.

Fear is an interesting part of being a parent. I have no problem with admitting that I can be pretty fearful sometimes. I would love to be that girl that throws caution to the wind but I've come to accept that I'm not. I like rhythm, I like to know what's coming next, I like to know that my child is not going to crack his head open on a rock. Perhaps it's a Mum thing. I know Daniel is confident to just let Che be, no matter where we are. He stands back and watches without flinching. I sure don't want to let fear rule my life. I'm aware of it and aiming to embrace the love instead.

These Morcheeba lyrics always travel around in my mind:

"Fear can stop you loving
Love can stop your fear
Fear can stop you loving
But it's not always that clear" from "Fear and Love"

7 comments:

  1. i know the feeling:)... it does sound like you had a wonderful day. p.s. i´m thinking of getting a new camera- and am stuck between a canon or nikon- any thoughts:) please.... and thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Even though I'm not a mom yet, I understand what you mean. I have a lot of fear about things that I'm working on. Beautiful pics, thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am a *sit back* trusting Mama, have been since number one...and understood my relaxed nature so much more after reading The Continuum Concept... but I still feel the fear at times. Indeed.
    Looks like a gorgeous spot.

    ReplyDelete
  4. It's a delicate balance isn't it? Not being a 'hover Mum' but being there for when you do need to be. I struggle with that balance too - and Daddy is the same as Daniel... "Just let her be Mumma, she'll be fine!" I'm thinking it's a Mum thing too! :)

    Little beach is just gorgeous isn't it. So wonderful :) Glad you guys enjoyed Bouddi NP and have a day to just 'be' together. Being is wonderful :) Enjoy :) xxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Beautiful photos! Yes, it is a hard balance to be a mum, fear is there so we do protect our babes. The trick I guess is to balance it with trust. I think you are a wonderful mum.

    ReplyDelete
  6. It's a fabulous national park, isn't it. The wattle is almost in flower and those coastal landscapes. Beautiful. Enjoy those Sunday mornings. I can recommend the Kantara Reserve walks too .. and there are barbecues there for picnics.
    Fear. I sailed on the young endeavour and was told fear was good. Makes you hang on tighter. Mind you, I was 30 foot up a mast that was swinging pretty damn wildly and it was dark and cold and wet and slippery and I had one hand to hang on with and another on the sail. I was scared. Really scared. I guess though once I got over the fear enough to do the job all was good. I held on until I knew what the limitations were. The fine balance between plunging to my death and swinging about like a monkey to bring the sail in.

    ReplyDelete