It's been a while since I've sat down to write professionally. For the first time in my life I've been offered work from a professional writing company - run by three passionate journalists who believe in the power of their words. I feel honored to be among them (rephrase: below them) and I know they will teach me well. Such an opportunity.
And every moment that I sit down at my desk I stand up again because I feel guilty for leaving Ché with cute softies as companions. I'm finding it so difficult to explain to these writers that I can't just drop everything to do an interview or write a quick 400-word article. Sometimes it's hard to find the write words - to say out loud that my passion is in my mothering and not making money from my sentences.
The journalism world is a patriachal one. Still. There's power in a pen, you know. I've always steered clear of conceited men (and women) in the industry. Of power plays and cutting words. My reasoning? I don't want to spend my time surrounded by arrogance and feeling shit about myself.
Because it's true - my writing is my art. Draw a line through my words and I feel it. Deep. There's a big difference between constructive criticism and blatant distaste.
So now that I've got this job I wonder if I've got the fire, the drive, the unending desire to win. In journalism you win or you get treatment from a blood red pen.
Or do I teach yoga a few times a week, spend precious time playing, puttering, exploring, finding with Ché and write because I love it. My words are habit - they should never be a chore.
You write beautifully, that's for sure. Whichever path you choose to go down with it will be the right one.
ReplyDeleteHugs and warm wishes coming your way...
Have you ever thought of writing a book, instead?
ReplyDeleteAs I visit your blog, I love the softness and gentleness of your word phrasing. And I love the pictures that you choose to accent your words with.
I wonder if children's picture books would suit you. The beautiful words and pictures of a well done picture book becomes a family favorite and is a piece of art at our house.
Your words and your mothering are both too valuable to let anything with an arrogant tone or red pen get in the way of either. Follow your intuition. A book, on your own terms?
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping for an easy process, and helpful rememberings.
ReplyDeleteYou certainly have an exceptional way with words. Balancing your loves becomes so much more difficult when mixed in with motherhood. All you can do is follow your heart--even if all it wants is to chase a sticky fingered little munchkin around. Hugs to you! You have a good soul, you'll find your way and your balance.
ReplyDeletestay true to your (he)art & the right path with evolve
ReplyDeletein the words of my musician hubby... "I'd rather write & play originals & not make a dime than make a squillion playing covers"
you'll find your way
(& yes I'd love to photograph your sweet family one day... perhaps a working holiday is in order hehehe)
You do write ever so beautifully! I agree with Jules. Stay true to your heart.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you!
Hmmm... interesting dilemma. As a working journalist and a mother I can honestly say that without the passion for it Jodi it will definitely become a horror that will eat into your mothering.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I would say that about any work choice. Without passion, it is life-draining.
But, if journalism excites you, as it still does me, then you will find a way to balance it out with parenting. You will attract editors who will work with you and let you work around your parenting.
I have. It’s not easy, never perfect, but it is possible.
And, the red line you talk about... well, that’s another thing altogether...as a writer you can never escape it.
With journalism it will come in the form of editors, sub-editors, the type of publication, the deadlines, the word-length, the news agenda... the never-ending restrictions of the form itself...
But even if you choose to self-publish, such as this blog, the red line will always be there.
You and the reader draw it together.
Personally, after many years doing this work, I am more at peace with the “red line”. It teaches me how to hone my craft.
I, too, agree with Jules. Whatever you decide, stay true to that beautiful heart of yours Jodi.
X
Megan
p.s Lovely, lovely, lovely photo.
I wish I could find the words to describe the industry, but I think you've got a good grasp. I agree with Megan, you've got to love it - as much as you love the other parts of your life, but that would be true of any vocation that any mother has to split her time to do. If ever I can be an ear, do let me know. You have my email.
ReplyDeleteHello beautiful. Please go and buy "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle... once you have read it you will know what decision to make. Miss you. xx
ReplyDeleteinteresting choices you've got before you. you definitely should write, but it;s got to be on your terms. it has to be write for you.
ReplyDeletecan't wait to see which path you choose.
I'm not sure, but it seems you have already made a decision. Stay true, stay real in whatever it is you do. Yoga, a few times a week...hmmmmm.
ReplyDeleteDecisions are never easy....especially when they involve the things you love....finding the balance is not easy either when everyone needs a slice of your time and commitment....I hope you find a groove....looking forward to seeing how it pans out for you.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your new opportunity.
ReplyDeleteBeing presented with the offer sounds like a gift, and opening up the questions may be part of it.
Good luck with finding the way it can work for you.
PS Beautiful photo.
ReplyDeleteI like the open space and the way it works with your write.
Congratulations on the offer! No matter which way you decide to go, it is still something to be proud of that you have received this offer :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you will find your way, and a nice balance. I agree with mchilly moments, a new earth is a wonderful and helpful read.
:) good luck!
I love the way that you write! Lovely, simple, true! But I understand that it's a very difficult decision. I hope that you will be happy with whatever you decide to do.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't want the job, I will have it :)
ReplyDeleteI enjoy your blog.
such a dilema, your passion for both che and writing is clear through this beautiful blog and the huge response you create. you certainly command an audience! i hope you find a happy balance somehow. i think they are only little for such a short time and you shouldn't feel pressure to do something that dosen't feel right if you don't have to.
ReplyDeletebtw received your ace parcel today. thank you so much - more clever jodi insight. did a post wearing it. love the scarf too and will be posting bout that too. really adore the top - i'm a fussy girl and its rare that someone gets it right. thank you. have you read 'buddhism for mothers'? would like to send you my copy if you haven't.
it's amazing the change that having children creates. what used to be fulfilling is not quite so and with other priorities taking it's place. your written words have an easy and thoughtful flow. i'm certain you could create your own work and balance to continue your happy life.
ReplyDeleteits funny, last month I had the chance to work with one of my best friends at her job two days a week....it would be working with really amazing art photographers in NYC. After a year, I thought I would was ready to go back to work....just as I was about to send my resume, I freaked! I cant leave my baby for a single day....I just wasnt ready. I know I will be....hard decisions for mamas.....happy autumn!
ReplyDeleteYour child is only going to be this young once and it won't be long 'til he develops his own interests. And do you know what a godsend it is to have your own interests? Many people have no idea what they like and kids need parents who into life. Your keen interest in writing provides a window into what an passion for something looks like, though his passion may lead elsewhere. That's a wonderful wonderful thing!
ReplyDeleteI doubt you will lose your interest in writing by the time Ché is older and onto his whirlwind. And maybe you can find a way to balance even while he's so young. I wasn't able to but that doesn't mean you can't. Or you could do like I do and wait.