We have been chugg chugg chugging along and slipping into a winter rhythm that involves cookies, soup and warmth. Our house is known to be slightly chilly in these winter months (although a cool haven on balmy summer days) and I have been practicing the art of warming up with layers of clothing. Luckily we managed to get our hands on a wonderfully powerful gas heater and I thrifted some gorgeous blankets and a super comfy, thick and big cardi. Today officially marks the first slow-cook of the season. Winter is here in all it's cuddly goodness.The above image is the calm before and after the storm that is my 2-almost-three-year-old-and-the-tantrums-arrived-a-little-late-and-I-though-I'd-gotten-away-with-it-and-wondered-for-a-little-while-what-the-terrible-twos-were-all-about. Now I know. Apparently he's really busy a lot of the time and he "can't talk". It's mentally exhausting because I feel like I have to negotiate everything - including walking from the kitchen to the front door. I have to remind myself that sometimes the firm yet gentle guidance of the parent is best regardless of the response. Regardless of the response. Regardless....
Advice would be appreciated. I'm also thinking of buying the book Simplicity Parenting. Have you read it?
If you decide to comment you may notice that I have changed the settings to "visible after blog owner approval". I have received far too many comments in Chinese script which I can't read. However, last week I found the time to translate a few of the comments in google and voila - a whole heap of jumbled expletives. Hence the screening of comments. It feels weird that random strangers without any good intention feel the need to write jumbled mess in this space. It's the flip-side of all the online goodness I guess.
Hey Jodi
ReplyDeleteRe: the jumbled comments mess... it's just spam - you'll prob notice that they all have links attached to them that take you to other websitess... annoying eh!
Lovely picture, Jodi. Un abrazo,
ReplyDeleteSara
I changed my comment settings too. Stupid jumbled comments annoyed me to no end!
ReplyDeleteI hope things get better with the little one, I know it doesn't really help but I'm sure its just a phase!
Small boys are an uphill battle that will never be won. xx
ReplyDeletewe're in the land of crazy two and a half year old over here too. It's seriously doing my head in. I'm sorry, I don't have any advice, but I sure would appreciate some. I don't remember the other two being this wild. I also had those ridiculous comments on my blog, and switched to regulated comments a while back. Much better. Take it easy, and maybe we should get these two crazy kids together soon?
ReplyDeleteHi there. I have just bought 'simplicity parenting' after a friend recommended it. I havn't read it yet but from the first few flick throughs - it looks good.
ReplyDeleteOh I hear you Jodi! Full blown tantrums here too.... Little Fin didn't really have them - so quite a shock to me! But I do live Melissa's comments hehe. Thinking of you and relax in knowing that your not alone!!!
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard when they start to realise that they have their own power and get a little drunk and abuse it.
ReplyDeletePick your battles, if you are being tested about seomthing that doesn't matter let him win but remnd him of it on a battle that you wont give in on.
If you have a consequence follow through, I know when Poppy was having lots of 'in public tantrums I had a fake outing and once she started warned her if she didn't stop we would go home and that is what we did. Not so easy to do when you really have to get the bread from the shops or distracted.
Don't ask questions if they need to be statements as it opens the door to constant negotiation. "we are going to leave once we finish breakfast' instead of 'shall we..' or 'do you want to...' Of course there is still lots of room to make decisions in other areas, it is not boot camp but just pick when and make it 2 choices 3 tops at this age as any more is overwhleming for them.
Try and ignore as much of the attention tantrums as you can - not easy at all. I remind Poppy that once she is a 'calm girl' we can go back to playing, etc. as I think that is the main battle - trying to get them/ waiting for them to learn to control their emotions.
A little time ago Pottymouthmama (I think) posed a similar question. She got lots of awesome responses so I checked out a few of the suggested books from the library. I found The Secrets of Happy Children (Steve Biddulph) and Buddhism for Mothers with Lingering Questions great reads. They've definitely helped me to understand and better manage (mostly my response) the moments of challenging behaviour.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the Simplicity Parenting link - definitely adding it to the to be read list. I know that our lives are infinitely more calm when our days are simple and easy flowing.
Looking forward to all the suggestions.
our house is often cold asweal. i found my answer to be, do what needs to be done and then go out and enjoy the sunshine. doesnt work too well when the weathers miserable though of course! then the blankets and heater get a workout
ReplyDeleteSuch a sweet pic:)
ReplyDeleteWhat a relief to hear another mother of a same-age child expressing the same exasperation I feel on a daily basis! I, too, have been seeking guidance and resources. So far, my greatest comfort has been found in 'Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves' by Naomi Aldort. I find myself returning to it time and again and painstakingly trying to remember to carry-out the introspection that Aldort suggests prior to a "reaction", if any.
ReplyDeleteMy two-and-a-half-almost-three-year-old seems to awake mad at the world many days and actively seeks avenues to be oppositional. Thank you for this blog post and giving me the company that I needed along this journey. I look forward to others' suggestions.
I'm not there yet but I hope I have the strength to deal with it when the time comes. With the tough times now I try and breathe and smile through them...
ReplyDeleteYou're a great mama Jodi, you will do what's right. And with time everything passes. xxx
Take a look here, it can, maybe, help you some of those nice books :)
ReplyDeletewww. lauragutman.com.ar/version_english/home.html
The "Terrible Two's" are a myth, as a Mama to 4 boys believe me that nothing can prepare you for the horror of the shock and awe tactics of a threenager in full force. I just spent 15 minutes arguing with mine as to why he couldn't eat his cereal standing at the bench.
ReplyDeleteThis too shall pass, though whilst in the midst of it it seems like forever.
Strength and peace to you both.
Jodi, I TOTALLY feel your space right now....actually my last blog post was very similar. Emmett is exactly 2.5 and out of no where, its an up hill climb --- one that is VERY steep at times! I am actually reading Simplicity Parenting right now....(not that far in). Ive found a lot of support on the archives of: http://theparentingpassageway.com/. But I find it always helps to unite with other mommas....I know people say its " a phase" and "its normal" but its hard still a hard place to be --- sometimes it seems like my kid is the only one doing some of these things! but I know that not true.....I remind myself daily, that this is the REAL yoga ~
ReplyDeletelove & peace, Jamie
Raising Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort is a wonderful book on parenting. I would say it is the best book I have read so far. Aldort promotes a gentle, respectful approach and explains what many children are experiencing when they begin to behave in this way. I highly recommend it. Let me know if you have any questions about it. I'll be writing a post about it soon as well and will let you know when I do.
ReplyDeleteThe best of luck. My daughter is still very young, so I have yet to experienced my own child at that age.
My blog is http://shaktimama.wordpress.com
I had to sign in using the google account here; it wouldn't let me use my wordpress account.